So, what should I do? Sit with something like Unreal Engine? Or do something from scratch?
What is my strength? Development skills with a little bit of creativity. I'm not really a hardcore, touch-the-metal kind of coder either. I should pick up something which makes use of my development skills as well as that little bit of creativity that I have in me. This goes against my idea of developing a game engine from scratch. It doesn't make sense to reinvent the wheel. I might as well pick up a game engine and start developing a game on it. Although I would love to make a game engine from scratch and understand how it all works underneath. Something keeps telling me that going the "make from scratch" way will be way more rewarding. It doesn't seem practical though. I'll have to invest a lot of time for very less output in the beginning. But I would end up using someone else's engine if and when I get down to develop my own game because of the simple fact that people have spent decades perfecting their game engines. So I guess it boils down to what my end goal is - making games or making a game engine and then make my games using the game engine.
Starting off with a game engine = quick prototyping
Where I would be if I started making a game engine from scratch
I would like to be known as a guy who made epic games. If I could be known as the guy who made epic games on his own game engine, that would be ideal, but I don't know if this is the right time to think about that. I should start experimenting on developing games, prototype neat ideas on a good game engine. And if time permits, understand how the game engine works. Then if things go well, maybe down the line, I can think of making a game engine?
I have been contemplating this conundrum for a while now and there seems to be no right answer. Sometimes choices seem to have this paralysing effect on me. It's the fear of missing out on the other choice if I do make a decision. It's a hard to explain this fear, but it is a fear nonetheless. But a choice shall be made by time, even if I don't choose, I suppose.